Maybe ranting about work and life will one day get me somewhere?

Given the jobs I've had perhaps I shouldn't be complaining about work. All things considered, I've been pretty lucky. I've worked with good people, with genuine interest in their work. It's been intellectually involving, with lots of variation. Its given me the chance to use my brain and meet interesting people.

But still there's still been something gnawing at me. I've been unable to shake the sensation that it all could be done so much better. That I'm unquestionably participating in a system that is wrong at its core.

Maybe I'm caring too much. Maybe I'm doing too little. I definitely think I'd be better off if I just got on with it. But I can't get rid of this feeling.

The ironic thing is that I feel more ready than ever to apply myself to the hard work of something, yet I'm finding it harder than ever to find paid work that I actually feel is worth doing.

Maybe the conflict is to do with my particular industry. I've written before about how market research is essentially at the whim of it's clients. It can do very little to influence events. It can't lead by example.

But even more than that, there seems to be little room for moral conscience when there is potential business at stake. If someone is willing to pay for a market research to research something, then I can't imagine them turning the work down.

So where does this leave me?

I see two options. The first is to look for work with in a different industry. With the kind of company that a market research firm would usually work for. With the kind of company that actually has the power to do things differently. And the values to actually accomplish this.

The second is to create a new kind of research firm. One that takes a stand and only work with partners that it believes in. That plays a more active role in representing and empowering the consumer. That takes some lessons from anthropology and aims to break down the barrier between the 'subject' and the 'owner' of research.

At the moment I've got to admit that this sounds like a hopeless pipe dream. But could it be that this approach, one that tries to help create real value, that sees value in the interests of a wider range of actors that just its immediate client, that has a more long-term view, could also be good for business?

Probably not! Put like this its difficult to imagine anybody paying for this kind of service. But I can't help feeling that there's something to the idea. So for now I plan to doggedly pursue it just in case...